Just An Update, No Cake : (

   Okay you guys - I'm going to be honest with you... I've been uber depressed, lethargic, and spotty on my meds which have been making me sleep a lot and be very unmotivated. Some cray-cray stuff is happening right now in my life and to tell you the truth a lot of my online business stuff has just been taking second place.
   However, I am starting to really apply myself in other areas such as answering the freelance blogging ads, of course - LOVING the rejection in every single one, lol. One of my favorite teachers once told me that sometimes it takes seven hundred rejection letters to get the one that will change your life.. situation.. whatver. : )
   So - I'm going to go ahead and POST this blog I have been keeping from you guys out of sheer laziness.. and it's for "Vanilla Shaped Heart-Attack Cake" which I by no means will ENCOURAGE you to eat... but you're an adult and you make your own decisions.. So now.. with this update.. I will get to work on some of the best f-in vanilla cake I have ever put in my mouth to date. So good that it didn't even need icing.. !

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"Vanilla Heart-Attack Shaped Cake"

Eat at Your own Risk! (lol) Yummo! I really can't stop gushing about this cake, ya'll. Literally... they had to keep it away from me so I wouldn't sleep eat it, and give myself a heart attack from eating it. And, by the way - every piece was worth every palpitation. (don't worry, I only got about two pieces of this cake - it was so good everyone else wanted some, haha) Alrighty - Let's get to it.. First, get your ingredients together and preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then whisk your dry ingredients together. This takes place of actually having to buy cake flour. It's a short cut I use, but you can purchase cake flour if you want to, it's your life - however this saves you a bundle of time without having to purchase the flour and gives you a discount plus an even texture throughout the cake. Start getting the wet ingredients together. Eggs, Sugar, Butter, Vanilla, & Crisco... YES - another recipe with Crisco... ...

The "F-U" Shoney's Strawberry Pie

The "Fuck You" Shoney's Strawberry Pie Okay, first things first... Let's get one thing straight. I <3 Shoney's and they have given me jobs many times over the years, however.... Every time I work there.... The store closes. *sigh* Then it's back to the want ads again... Trying to decide whether to strip or bring assholes their morning coffee. I mean hey... do you think I like being awake in the a.m. to serve you a cup of steaming joe while I'd rather be sleeping with my 100lb dog smothering me to death... No. But I digress.... When I went to the produce market today they had the most LOVELY strawberries... See ? Anyway so - I made and exec u tive dec ision... E...

"Mornings Are A Bitch" Bacon Biscuits with Bacon+Chicken Gravy

Breakfast Time Is Anytime Personally, breakfast is not really my thing, and I usually can't stand it in the morning so that's why we always eat breakfast at really weird and crazy hours. Kitty Ears and I are pioneers of the 2am breakfast sandwich, and the 4pm eggs benedict. Who says when breakfast is anyway? That's right, you do, muhfucker! This blog is not about healthy or diet food, although one of these days I will be doing a healthy blog, but that time is not now. Right now I focus on just a couple routines which make things a little easier like blogging, baths, medication, and coffee time. Blogging helps with my mental issues which is the reason why I'm always cooking and can't stop telling ya'll about it. I used to drink a lot and I guess clicking "publish" is now like a shot of Jim Beam for me. Although, I have to admit - I never felt a surge of accomplishment with my friend, Jim. Just fucking drunk and hopeless. So - anyway...

Bake The Pain Away

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