Bake The Pain Away

Breakfast Time Is Anytime    Personally, breakfast is not really my thing, and I usually can't stand it in the morning so that's why we always eat breakfast at really weird and crazy hours. Kitty Ears and I are pioneers of the 2am breakfast sandwich, and the 4pm eggs benedict. Who says when breakfast is anyway? That's right, you do, muhfucker! This blog is not about healthy or diet food, although one of these days I will be doing a healthy blog, but that time is not now. Right now I focus on just a couple routines which make things a little easier like blogging, baths, medication, and coffee time. Blogging helps with my mental issues which is the reason why I'm always cooking and can't stop telling ya'll about it. I used to drink a lot and I guess clicking "publish" is now like a shot of Jim Beam for me. Although, I have to admit - I never felt a surge of accomplishment with my friend, Jim. Just fucking drunk and hopeless. So - anyway...

"Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" Dark Chocolate Buttermilk Cupcakes My friend, L and I are the queens of life hacks, and we're always looking for deals, shortcuts, and don't give a shit time savers. She is the queen of coupons and I'm addicted to food shopping, lol. So the other day when I was out marketing (marketing, tee hee) I saw some boxes of these Dark Chocolate Cake Mixes marked off to .50 cents, that's right ya'll - FIDDY CENTS! So of course I grabbed about four boxes and went along my merry way.  I don't usually go for boxed cake mix as my faithful kitchen assistant, Kitty Ears, and I sell authentic, all natural cakes and we're foodie snobs who frown upon such things, but sometimes you want a cupcake and you'll be damned if you're gonna spend five hours in the kitchen whipping up an organic cake with chocolate ganache... I mean... come the fuck on... "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" every day. Recipe...

My friend, Tara, and I had an interesting conversation about where her name came from, and she seemed genuinely fucking surprised that I had any knowledge of Tara (the majestic house from "Gone With The Wind"). And, I really don't blame her. Where we live you're more apt to see sand cranes, piers, and palm trees held up by sticks than you will see majestic southern homes with huge columns. That's where huge columns came from by the way...  Or America's obsession with putting columns up everywhere rather. The movie inspired people everywhere to embrace the south in their soul, throw up some columns, put on a bandanna, and make some collard greens. Now, I'm not even sure collard greens were even in "Gone With The Wind" but they are quintessentially southern none the less. I am from a super small town where if there weren't collard greens on my Granny's table at least three times a week then the world had probably gone to hell in a hand b...

So glad to see ya'll again! Things have been abnormally hectic and crazy. We went without power for awhile and that was tough.. More on it latez tho! I'm just letting everyone know that I have a new blog coming and it's going to be about a classic southern veggie staple. Any guesses? So I am awesomely grateful to be cooking again, back in school, and stressed to the f-in max trying to get stuff done! - Alyce

Hello ! - It's been a roller coaster of everything lately. I have not been able to cook because my other house sprung a bunch of leaks. So now we are TOTALLY moved, it's pretty great. However, we had to give Sadie Mae away to a shelter and our hearts have been breaking. *sigh* I miss her eventho she was nothing but trouble, lol. Cute, but trouble. AND - I have a kitchen again and will soon be posting cooking pics and crafts such as Play Doh, and Soap! Stay tuned and send me some good tidings if you can! M.M.

Hi Everyone! I know I kinda dropped off the face of the earth, but a lot has happened. Mentally and emotionally. Have been in and out of the crazy bin while they are regulating my meds. I have been hating everything equally. And then my kitchen broke and I t couldn't cook for sanity. And then both my computers broke and I couldn't blog about anything, lol. But I used to be a person, a person who sailed through life not looking down... not looking for the wires that would trip me, not seeing the foliage I would fall into, never knowing if it would break my fall or send three wooden spikes through my heart. - However... Speaking of hearts.. ! <3 <3 - I just found out some amazing news a few months ago.. ! I have a sister! And she is now the middle child, and I have a sister for the FIRST TIME EVER. I can now do all those things labeled "sister"... cards....and shares... : )  Blood related and everything, her last name (originally) matched mine. She emailed me ...

Eat at Your own Risk! (lol) Yummo! I really can't stop gushing about this cake, ya'll. Literally... they had to keep it away from me so I wouldn't sleep eat it, and give myself a heart attack from eating it. And, by the way - every piece was worth every palpitation. (don't worry, I only got about two pieces of this cake - it was so good everyone else wanted some, haha) Alrighty - Let's get to it..  First, get your ingredients together and preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  Then whisk your dry ingredients together. This takes place of actually having to buy cake flour. It's a short cut I use, but you can purchase cake flour if you want to, it's your life - however this saves you a bundle of time without having to purchase the flour and gives you a discount plus an even texture throughout the cake.  Start getting the wet ingredients together. Eggs, Sugar, Butter, Vanilla, & Crisco... YES - another recipe with Crisco... ...