"Mornings Are A Bitch" Bacon Biscuits with Bacon+Chicken Gravy

Breakfast Time Is Anytime 

 

Personally, breakfast is not really my thing, and I usually can't stand it in the morning so that's why we always eat breakfast at really weird and crazy hours. Kitty Ears and I are pioneers of the 2am breakfast sandwich, and the 4pm eggs benedict. Who says when breakfast is anyway? That's right, you do, muhfucker!

This blog is not about healthy or diet food, although one of these days I will be doing a healthy blog, but that time is not now. Right now I focus on just a couple routines which make things a little easier like blogging, baths, medication, and coffee time. Blogging helps with my mental issues which is the reason why I'm always cooking and can't stop telling ya'll about it. I used to drink a lot and I guess clicking "publish" is now like a shot of Jim Beam for me. Although, I have to admit - I never felt a surge of accomplishment with my friend, Jim. Just fucking drunk and hopeless. So - anyway back to breakfasty things..

I am not the type of person to make homemade biscuits like my Granny, or fire up the waffle iron like my Grandma because breakfast is not where I like to spend all of my time and culinary talents. I'm more like my Granny Punk who used to throw me a Pop-Tart and let the theoretical breakfast chips lie where they may. My Granny Punk also drove the HeadStart Bus so her morning time was extremely limited. We used to head out early to pick kids up in the darkness of morning at least two hours before school even started. Out in the country it takes a little longer for the bus to pick kids up than in a city. (You'd think it would be the other way around because there are more kids...) 

I'd munch my Pop-Tart and steal drinks of her super leaded coffee. I felt like we were doing something important in stealing all those kids away in the dark and delivering them safe and sound to school. And it was always quiet, because they were all asleep.. Just me and Granny Punkin awake and listening to Hardin County wake up on the local news station while we drove all over town delivering kids like Christmas presents.

So this wouldn't be my blog if I didn't digress - so I will give you what you have been waiting for... BREAKFAST. Keep in mind that breakfast today is hodge podge and also doubles as a freezer recipe for on the go mornings such as me and Granny Punk were used to. Instead of a sugary Pop-Tart with only God knows what the f is in that shit, literally chuck a fresh from the freezer, bacon biscuit at your kid instead...

"Mornings Are A Bitch"  Bacon Biscuits with Bacon+Chicken Gravy

Gather the troops! In this recipe you will need: 

Frozen Biscuits

Bacon

Bacon Grease (or Butter)

Salt

Pepper

Flour

Chicken Broth

  1. Heat up your oven to 375 degrees. Depending on your oven, you may want to lower to 350 or push it to 400. Ovens Are Like Assholes and Everyone's Oven Is Different

2. Pull out your trusty baking pan and line with tin foil, and add bacon.. No need to grease because face it - your ass (and mine) don't need the calories + bacon is hella greasy on it's own. Put the bacon in about 5 minutes before the biscuits.

3. Assemble your store-bought biscuits (or make them if you have time for that!) -And put in the oven with the already-smelling-good-as-hell bacon. Grease with oil, butter, or reserved drippins'. Bake until tops are brown. *A tip on using frozen biscuits: Place them close together in the pan and they will rise better.*

 

4. While everything is getting awesome in the oven go ahead and start the roux for the gravy. For this you will need the spices, broth, and flour.

*If you don't recognize the mason jar, it's what we southern gangstas refer to as the Drippin's Jar. This jar is specifically for bacon drippings but many people will add any kind of grease to it and that's okay! It's up to you.*

5. Mix 4 tablespoons bacon grease, 4 tablespoons flour, 1/4 teaspoon of pepper, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and whisk until there is a pasty consistency. Then add 2 cups of chicken broth and whisk on medium-high until bubbles appear and then lower temperature to Low. 

 

The Bacon+Chicken Gravy will look like this. (Excuse my pans, they are old as hell and have seen much usage but they are still truckin')

Now - Don't forget to PULL OUT THE BISCUITS AND BACON!

The bacon will be awesome, uniform, and all done at the same time!

6. Now - before you decide to eat all of your awesome food, throw a couple bacon biscuits in some freezer bags and throw them in the freezer. Now, you have breakfast for busy mornings already assembled. 

Now - Feel free to hook yourself up with a biscuit and gravy and a bacon biscuit. The fruit is entirely optional but still a good idea. Besides what could go better with watermelon than salty-ass bacon?!