Bake The Pain Away

  "It's Time For The Beach" Pepperoni Tortellini Pasta Salad  First off, let me tell you something.. - This Pasta Salad almost didn't make it to the beach, lol. It's super easy, super refreshing, and super addictive. Making it was easy peasy, but keeping it in the fridge long enough to be able to eat some was definitely a challenge. As usual, I didn't follow the recipe exactly, so I made some tweaks. (OG Recipe @ the bottom) So here we go! You will need the following items:  Pepperoni, Tortellini (of your choice, we like cheese), Tomato, Onion, Zesty Italian Dressing (you don't have to use light, but it's what I had on hand), Mozzarella Cheese (we went with cheap, but a more upscale cheese would be super awesome). Not pictured: Salt, Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Dukes Mayo, Egg, Olives. Okie doke - Now Boil your Tortellini while you are prepping the veggies. Also throw in a boiled egg. (I'm southern so I make pretty m...

We all love Cobbler.  Pie-Pie Rhubarb Strawberry Cobbler Pretty much taking the day off from my witty banter, lol - It's Mother's Day and kind of a depressing holiday for me. However, this year I am celebrating with a classic cobbler and the news of my incoming little person! : ) That's right, Kitty Ears and I are going to have a little Pie running around! So apt that we're already calling her Pie, since... duh.. her Mom fucking loves Pie so much, lol. Also, as she's been growing we've been charting her growth with different fruits... Lemon Pie, Mango Pie, Apple Pie... lol - You get it.. Anyway... so - Today's Topic is Rhubarb! Most people, when you mention it are kind of like... "WTF is Rhubarb?" - and yes that is the most typical reaction. It looks like red celery and is tart and bitter if you eat it raw... So.. umm.. Don't, okay ? Personally, I wanted to try Rhubarb as soon as I heard about it. It sound...

Breakfast Time Is Anytime    Personally, breakfast is not really my thing, and I usually can't stand it in the morning so that's why we always eat breakfast at really weird and crazy hours. Kitty Ears and I are pioneers of the 2am breakfast sandwich, and the 4pm eggs benedict. Who says when breakfast is anyway? That's right, you do, muhfucker! This blog is not about healthy or diet food, although one of these days I will be doing a healthy blog, but that time is not now. Right now I focus on just a couple routines which make things a little easier like blogging, baths, medication, and coffee time. Blogging helps with my mental issues which is the reason why I'm always cooking and can't stop telling ya'll about it. I used to drink a lot and I guess clicking "publish" is now like a shot of Jim Beam for me. Although, I have to admit - I never felt a surge of accomplishment with my friend, Jim. Just fucking drunk and hopeless. So - anyway...

"Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" Dark Chocolate Buttermilk Cupcakes My friend, L and I are the queens of life hacks, and we're always looking for deals, shortcuts, and don't give a shit time savers. She is the queen of coupons and I'm addicted to food shopping, lol. So the other day when I was out marketing (marketing, tee hee) I saw some boxes of these Dark Chocolate Cake Mixes marked off to .50 cents, that's right ya'll - FIDDY CENTS! So of course I grabbed about four boxes and went along my merry way.  I don't usually go for boxed cake mix as my faithful kitchen assistant, Kitty Ears, and I sell authentic, all natural cakes and we're foodie snobs who frown upon such things, but sometimes you want a cupcake and you'll be damned if you're gonna spend five hours in the kitchen whipping up an organic cake with chocolate ganache... I mean... come the fuck on... "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That" every day. Recipe...

My friend, Tara, and I had an interesting conversation about where her name came from, and she seemed genuinely fucking surprised that I had any knowledge of Tara (the majestic house from "Gone With The Wind"). And, I really don't blame her. Where we live you're more apt to see sand cranes, piers, and palm trees held up by sticks than you will see majestic southern homes with huge columns. That's where huge columns came from by the way...  Or America's obsession with putting columns up everywhere rather. The movie inspired people everywhere to embrace the south in their soul, throw up some columns, put on a bandanna, and make some collard greens. Now, I'm not even sure collard greens were even in "Gone With The Wind" but they are quintessentially southern none the less. I am from a super small town where if there weren't collard greens on my Granny's table at least three times a week then the world had probably gone to hell in a hand b...

So glad to see ya'll again! Things have been abnormally hectic and crazy. We went without power for awhile and that was tough.. More on it latez tho! I'm just letting everyone know that I have a new blog coming and it's going to be about a classic southern veggie staple. Any guesses? So I am awesomely grateful to be cooking again, back in school, and stressed to the f-in max trying to get stuff done! - Alyce